TOEFL iBT Writing for an Academic Discussion How would you use a large tract of land for development? (Revised)

What do you think is the best way to develop a substantial plot of land which the government of your community has the freedom to develop in any manner it sees fit, considering the current needs of society and how different types of development could impact the society?

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.     Which of the following three responses to the question above do you think is the least proper? Why?

A)      I would sell it to buy whatever I want.

B)      I would build an amusement park on the land.

C)      I would make it a farm for the survival of the residents in climate crisis.

 

Note: Response A) is not a way to develop land, nor does it consider the current needs of society and the impact on it. Response B) is a way to develop land but may not be among the most needed by society, especially when there already are many amusement parks. C) meets the need of society for obvious reasons. This question is about utilizing land, which provides space, soil, ecological system, the atmosphere above it, life and joy, and many other things that we can take advantage of.

 

2.     What are the current needs of society, and how can the land be developed to make a difference to meet the needs of society?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

・a huge air purifier/water tank/vegetable garden/nature park/factory of micropower generators 

・a free cafeteria/ food bank/daycare center/evacuation center/space without commercial facilities 

・a shelter for refugees/the homeless/stray animals ・an independent radio station/TV station

・a tuition-free college/hospital/school/library/museum/botanical garden/ballpark/theater/concert hall

 

 

☆Presentation

1.     Make a presentation on your answer to this question by answering the following questions.

 

1)     What is a current need of society of your concern? What is its present situation?

e.g. It is refugee crisis. They are suffering from discrimination by the immigration offices and haters.

 

2)     How would you use the land to change the situation?

e.g. I would make it a facility for refugees to find a safe and happy life in my community.

 

3)     What are the advantages of it? 

e.g. It would save many lives.

 

4)     What problem can you expect as a result of your land-usage, and how would you address it?

e.g. Some local residents might not be happy about accepting refugees, but ignorance, prejudice, and discrimination must not be tolerated.

 

2.     Ask each other questions about each other’s presentations. This will help (to) make your ideas more interesting.

 

 

☆Sample Response

【Thesis】 I would use the land to help escape so-called refugee crisis.

【Supporting Details】 There are 35.5 million refugees around the world now. They have fled or lost their homes due to overwhelming events such as wars, conflicts, oppressions, and disasters. They are in desperate situations, including threat of their lives. and need support. Therefore, I would make the land a refugee camp and provide support to help them (to) become independent so that they can live a safe and happy life. It would save many lives. Also, it would facilitate economic and political actions for early safe returns of refugees to their homes.

【Counterargument-treatment】 A possible problem would be that some local residents might not be happy about accepting refugees, but ignorance, prejudice, and discrimination must not be tolerated.

【Conclusion】 It is about time for Japanese to realize what we are and learn to be nice to brothers and sisters from other countries. (149 words)

 

 

 

For reference: An essay on the same kind of topic

There would be many wise or innovative uses of a large tract of land, but I would make it a town which is a test case for peaceful coexistence of people and jungle crows. No other birds are so stigmatized as crows, particularly in Japan, where I live. They are regarded as filthy garbage-eaters, spiteful punks, and the sign of death. Yet, if observed carefully without prejudice, they will turn out to be as likable as pet animals. In fact, they are sometimes called flying dogs. They could possibly be our best friends in the sky.

   Jungle crows are the big black birds often seen scattering the contents of garbage bags collected on the sidewalks in Japanese cities. This is the main reason why they are hated, yet if you learn their history, you will see that they are not to blame. They used to live in forests and feed on dead animals on the ground. Development replaced trees with buildings, and animal bodies with garbage bags. They have been doing the same to survive, eating waste on the ground and nesting on the power poles, but now humans are offended by their routine. People also think crows are dirty and dangerous, but they bathe a few times a day and attack people only when they feel their nestlings are in danger, and the worst thing they could do is to swoop and kick from behind, which they rarely actually do because they are afraid of humans. It is true that they remember the face of the person who attacked or threatened them and repeatedly retaliate, but considering their trauma, it is understandable that they do it for self-defense. The biggest stigma that crows bear is the image of death, which probably derives from their color. Surely, they eat dead bodies, but so do many other creatures, from lions to bacteria. The fear of the color black is our problem, not theirs. In the eyes of humans on the ground, crows on power lines might be eerie dark spots in the sky, but seen from high above, they are precious pieces of life shining in purple and green.

   Although loathed, crows are well known to be smart, affectionate, and remarkable birds. They store their food in thousands of places and remember the spots. They use their calls for their communication. Moreover, they use tools, and one subspecies has evolved to make a tool. Sometimes, their behavior cannot be explained by any other words but play. There are reports of crows repeatedly sliding down the slide or snow slope or hanging upside down from the power line, neither of which has adaptive advantages. Also, jungle crows mimic many kinds of sounds, such as human words or machine noises. They cherish their mates and babies. There are many reports that crows grieve the death of other crows. I myself know a jungle crow which missed its mate for at least three years. When its mate suddenly disappeared, it made the saddest voice I had ever heard. A few months after the loss, the crow once kept perching for hours in the rain on a powerline its mate used to be around. One of the most striking things about crows is their eyes and ears. As they can see ultraviolet like other birds and can fly very high, they can spot a piece of bread from hundreds of meters high. They hear what humans cannot hear. Above all, they play an important role as scavengers getting rid of things people do not want to see lying on the ground like a dead mouse. Now some of you might find this bird a little more interesting than before.

   In my opinion, it is a shame that we do not have good relationships with jungle crows, a charming and interesting species that happens to live closest to us, and here comes my model town for the co-existence of jungle crows and humans. This town would have several parks full of tall trees, to which the garbage from the human community would be sent. Since jungle crows are originally from forests and tend to live where food is abundant, they would stay in the parks most of the time and would never bother littering the streets. The system would also reduce the cost of waste incineration and CO2 emissions. Humans can enter the parks and enjoy nature anytime except for the breeding season. My wildest dream is to have crows participate in rescue operations. For their ability to fly a long distance and high cognitive level, not to mention the great eyesight and hearing, they would make good rescue crows. Of course, for animal rights, only those that are willing and having the aptitude and characteristics should be given the missions. I actually know a crow that is eligible for it. Like us, crows also have individuals willing to take a risk for satisfaction and bonding.

   I once saw a jungle crow perched on a power line entertaining a dog down in a garage. The dog, wagging its tail and jumping around in the small space, looked quite happy to see its friend with wings. The scene reflected their positions in this world: one was confined and the other free. Crows could have been domesticated long ago, since their cleverness must have been noticed by our ancestors, but they have not. I feel, with no offense to dogs, that crows know what dignity is and keep a distance from humans. They are hated but live proudly. They are sensitive enough to feel the pain of life, yet they will never give up on life and can do without such things as hope or dream or religion. Perhaps we could learn something important from them by living closer to them than now.

 

Note: Some of the information about crows included in this essay are taken from Karasu no Kyokasho by Hajime Matsubara, a crow researcher and observation reports of unknown bird-lovers.

Write your response in 10 minutes. Show each other your responses. Write down questions or suggestions to each other’s response.

 

                                                   DRAFT