TOEFL iBT Independent Writing Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long working hours or a lower-paying job with shorter working hours? - revised -

Wring Topic

Which would you choose: a high-paying job with long working hours or a lower-paying job with shorter working hours? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

 

 

☆Let’s think

1.       What are the advantages of high-paying jobs with long working hours?

2.       What are the advantages of lower-paying jobs with short working hours?

3.       Which working condition would you rather choose? Why?

4.       Explain why you do not care about the advantages of the other choice?

Note: Most people want to be hired as a full-time worker for a higher regular income. However, some people willingly choose the other type of the two. Students and housewives prefer part-time jobs to study or raise children, respectively. Jobs that they can find are usually not high-paying. Also, the real employment status is not simple. Trying to cut costs, companies do not raise regular workers’ salaries and many non-regular workers are becoming the working poor, whose wages are so low that they have to work more than ten hours a day or work at two different places a day to make ends meet. They have little free time. Be that as it may, the point of this question is your choice between money and time.

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Reasons to choose a high-paying job with long working hours

1.       It is common sense to choose a job with regular working hours. I would like to be a respected citizen. I would like to live in a safe and comfortable place, wear decent clothes, and eat safe food to live a long healthy life. I would also like to get married and have children.

2.       I like working. I would spend as much time as I can to learn the job, gain knowledge, and improve my skills.

3.       All I want to do need money rather than time, so a lower-paying job is not my choice.

 

Reasons to choose a lower-paying job with shorter working hours

1.       I would like to continue my study over the next ten years. I would like to pass a few tests.

2.       I just cannot work regularly. I am not inclined to long working hours. This does not mean that I am lazy. I have a strong power of concentration, while my body clock is just not suitable for a regular life pattern.

3.       As the saying goes, “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”.

 

 

☆Essay Structure

Sample 1

【Introduction = Outline】I would choose a lower-paying job with shorter working hours because time is life, as the author of Momo says.

【Merit of the First Choice1】Life is stable for a regular worker.

【Merit of the Second Choice 2】A part-time worker can concentrate on his or her interest.

【My Choice】Even if you have a lot of money, if you do not have time to spend it to enjoy life, your life is a failure.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】To stay as human as possible in this modern world of insanity, I would be happy to be less paid and have more leisure time.

【導入＝概要】「モモ」の作者が言っているように時間は人生なので、給料の少ない労働時間の少ない仕事を選びたい。

【長時間高給の利点】正社員にとって生活は安定している。

【短時間薄給の利点】アルバイトは自分の興味に集中できる。

【自分の選択】たとえお金がたくさんあっても人生を楽しむためにお金を使う時間がなければその人生は失敗だ。

【結論＝まとめ】この狂気の現代でできるだけ人間らしさを保つために私は喜んで薄給になり多くの余暇を持ちたい。

 

Sample 2

【Introduction = Outline】To help reduce the suffering of other people, I would rather choose a high-paying job with long working hours.

【Point 1】There is not low-paying jobs with a lot of free time. There are only low-paying jobs with long working hours.

【Point 2】I would like to make the world better, and for that matter, I need money and status.

【Counterargument-treatment】People who contribute to the world do not ask for a long vacation.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】It would be nice if I could make more people can have more money and good times.

【導入＝概要】他人の苦しみを減らすのを助けるためにどちらかと言うと高給・長時間労働を選ぶ。

【要点1】薄給・短時間労働はない。薄給・長時間労働しかない。

【要点2】世界を良くしたいのでお金と地位が必要だ。

【反論処理】世界に貢献する人たちは長期休暇を要求しない。

【結論＝まとめ】より多くの人がより多くのお金と楽しい時を持つことができるならば素敵だ。

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

Note: The Introduction is the outline of the whole essay. The body is the detail of the introduction. The conclusion is the sum-up. What you write in the introduction and the conclusion are the same, expressed in different ways. Also, you provide the reasons in short in the introduction and give their details in the body. You could make a full introduction, which is complete with the hook, the background, the thesis and the gist of the reasons, but the most important is the development of the body paragraphs. Therefore, full introduction can wait till you finish the body.

 

 

☆Sample Paragraph Development

Sample 1

【Main Idea】I would like to be a respectable person.

【Supporting Detail (general)】A respectable person works hard, and as a result, receives a lot of remuneration.

【Supporting Detail (specific)】Doctors, lawyers, company presidents, government officials and other people in higher positions devote most of their time to their duties, and they are rewarded with high income that they deserve.

【Follow-up】Some of those in higher positions might not live up to public expectations, or some may even commit crimes. However, almost all people with higher social status are diligent people who contribute to society.

【Wrap-up】I would like to be one of those adults I respect.

【主題】ちゃんとした人になりたい。

【詳細（一般的）】ちゃんとした人は一生懸命働き、結果として多くの報酬を受ける。

【詳細（具体的）】医者や弁護士、会社社長、政府官僚そして他の全ての高い地位の人達は時間のほとんどを職務に捧げ、値する高収入で報われている。

【補足】高い地位にある人の中には一般の人の期待に応えていない人もいるかもしれないし、犯罪を犯す人さえいるかもしれない。しかし、高めの社会的地位にいるほとんど全ての人は社会貢献をしている勤勉な人達だ。

【まとめ】私は尊敬するあの大人たちの一人になりたい。

 

Sample 2

【Main Idea】I do not want to be a cog in a machine and lose my soul.

【Supporting Detail (general)】Life of part-time workers is precarious, but the situation which current regular workers face is not so different from that of part-time workers.

【Supporting Detail (specific)】Companies can go bankrupt, or they can lose their job if they become seriously ill. If you are money oriented, this downfall will be your death sentence. Prioritizing time at least saves your soul.

【Follow-up】Unless you become a billionaire, you cannot have a safe and secure life, and I have no will to join this jungle-law game.

【Wrap-up】It is better for me to be eaten than to eat someone else.

【主題】機械の歯車になって魂を失いたくない。

【説明】アルバイトの生活は不安定だが現在の正社員が直面する状況はアルバイトとあまり変わらない。

【例】会社は倒産するかもしれないし重病になったら失業するかもしれない。お金優先の場合、この失墜は死刑判決になるだろう。時間を優先すれば少なくとも魂は救われる。

【補足】億万長者にならない限り安全・安心な生活はできない。そして私はこの弱肉強食のゲームに参加する意思は全くない。

【まとめ】自分は食べるより食べられる方が良い。

 

Your Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

 

【Supporting Detail (general)】

 

【Supporting Detail (specific)】

 

 

【Follow-up】

 

 

【Wrap-up】