TOEFL iBT Independent Writing How would you use a large donation money that your school has received, if you had the power to decide how to spend the money?. - revised -

 

Lesson 30  Writing Topic

Imagine that the school you attend has received a large donation of money. If you had the power to decide how to spend this money, how would you choose to use the money? Offer specific reasons to explain your response.

 

 

☆Let’s Think

Pair Work

1. What is the difference between the following two questions?

a. Imagine that you have received a large amount of money. How would you like to use the money?

b. Imagine that your school has received a large amount of money. How would you like to use the money?

 

Note: The recipient of the donation is not you but your school. Therefore, the money is supposed to be used for the benefit of the school, or students and the people who work there.

 

2. What kind of proper usage of the money can you think of? Why do you think it is proper?

Make a presentation to your partner/group members on this topic, answering the following questions.

1)     Problem: What is wrong or what is needed?

2)     Your Plan: What should be done?

3)     Expected Benefits: How will it benefit your school?

4)     Expected Problems: What sort of obstacles can be expected and how can it be managed or be ignorable?

 

3. Ask questions about the points made in the presentations by your partner or group members, or make suggestions of other ideas. Doing it would help your classmates with writing an essay on this topic later.

 

 

☆Hints for Points

1.     facilities

I would like to make the library / computer room / gymnasium / cafeteria of my school better / larger.

2.     System

I would like to start a program for exchange-students / scholarship for disadvantaged students.

3.     Environment

I would like to improve the buildings / the quad / the commuting rout of my school.

 

 

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

Writing for the TOEFL iBT, p. 331, Barron’s

Our school has many needs, but I think the best way to spend a gift of money is on new classroom equipment. Our school is old. We don’t have enough desks and chairs for all the students and our classroom furniture is out of repair. If we buy new equipment, the students will feel better and want to work hard. The community will take pride in our school. New equipment will last a long time, so we will feel the benefit of the gift for many years.

 

It is hard for students to study when there aren’t enough chairs in the classroom. It is hard for them to use old, broken blackboards. It is hard when there aren’t good bookshelves and cabinets to organize the classroom supplies. With new equipment, students will feel like school is a nice place to be. They will feel like the teachers care about them. They will be motivated to study harder and do the best job they can.

 

It is hard for the community to feel proud of a school that looks old and broken. If members of the community visit the school and see new classroom equipment, they might feel better about the school. They might say, “This school has improved, and we can improve it more.” They might be motivated to contribute money and volunteer time to further improve the school. Every school is better when community members become involved. New equipment can help motivate them.

 

We could spend the gift money on educational trips for the students. We could spend it on supplies such as paper and pencils or on books. All these things are important for education, but they don’t last. Students this year will benefit, but students five years from now won’t. Classroom equipment, on the other hand, lasts many years. If we spend the money on equipment, students will benefit for many years to come.

 

New classroom equipment will motivate both students and community members to improve their participation in school. Everyone will benefit from new equipment now and in the future as well. Therefore, I think this is one of the best ways we can spend a gift of money to our school.

 

 

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】If my school has received a large donation and if I had the power to decide how to use it, I would establish a fund for a domestic homestay program.

【Current Problem】Many students want to have a homestay, but most of them cannot afford it.

【Your Plan】My plan is to make a fund for so that students can stay for a certain period of time in a home of native speakers of English who are staying in Japan.

【Benefits】The financial burden would be lighter. Also, problems can be solved more quickly and easily than in the case of real homestay.

【Counterargument-treatment】Staying with foreign residents at home is essentially different from staying abroad. However, life with people from a different culture will have enough impact to open eyes to different perspectives and to help language acquisition.

【Conclusion】If my school had a windfall, funding for staying with foreign families would help improve many students’ performances.

【導入】もし私の学校が大きな寄付を受け、使い道を決める権限が私にあったとしたら国内留学制度基金を設立するだろう。

【現在の問題】ホームステイをしたい生徒は多いが、彼らのほとんどがその余裕がない。

【計画】私の計画は生徒が日本に滞在している英語を母国語とする人の家庭で一定期間暮らせるように基金を作ることだ。

【利益】金銭的負担が軽くなる。また、問題解決が本物のホームステイより容易に速くできる。

【予測される問題点】国内の外国人居住者宅での滞在は海外滞在と本質的に異なる。しかし異文化出身の人との生活は、異なる視点に目を開き言語習得を助けるのに十分な影響力がある。

【結論】もし私の学校が思わぬ大金を得たら、外国人家庭滞在への資金提供が多くの生徒の成績改善を助けるだろう。

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】

 

【Current Problem】

 

【Your Plan】

 

【Benefits】

 

【Counterargument-treatment】

 

【Conclusion】

 

 

☆Sample Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】Many students want to have a homestay, but most of them cannot afford it.

【Supporting Detail (General)】The main reason is financial.

【Supporting Detail (Specific)】For example, homestay programs cost a lot. To have a two-week homestay in America, you have to pay hundreds of thousands of yen to the agency. This is the same amount for a surgery or a used car. Thus, a long-term homestay is a heavy financial burden for the family.

【Follow-up】Also, staying abroad for a long time demands too much sacrifice from the students, as they lose time for other important experiences like club activities or spending time with family and friends. Some family members even oppose the plan for the loss.

【Wrap-up】It would be nice if all students who are eager to learn other cultures and the language had opportunities to have a homestay without worrying about the expenses and feeling loss.

【主張】ホームステイをしたい生徒は多いが、彼らのほとんどができない。

【詳細（一般的）】主な理由は経済的なものだ。

【詳細（具体的）】例えばホームステイ用プログラムはお金がかかる。アメリカで2週間ホームステイするのに代理店に何十万円も支払う。これは手術や中古車と同じ金額だ。従って長期ホームステイはその家族にとって大きな金銭的負担になる。

【補足】また海外に長期滞在するのは部活動や家族や友人と時間を過ごすといった他の重要な経験のための時間を失うので生徒にあまりにも大きな犠牲を要求する。家族の中にはその喪失を理由に計画に反対する者もいる。

【まとめ】異文化と英語を熱心に学びたい生徒が皆、経費の心配と喪失感なしでホームステイする機会があればよい。

 

Your Test Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

 

【Supporting Detail (General)】

 

 

【Supporting Detail (Specific)】

 

 

 

【Follow-up】

 

 

【Wrap-up】