TOEFL iBT Independent Writing Imagine that the school you attend has received a large donation of money. If you had the power to decide how to spend this money, how would you choose to use the money? - revised -

Writing Topic

Imagine that the school you attend has received a large donation of money. If you had the power to decide how to spend this money, how would you choose to use the money? Offer specific reasons to explain your response.

☆Let’s Think

Pair Work

1. What is the difference between the following two questions?

a. Imagine that you have received a large amount of money. How would you like to use the money?

b. Imagine that your school has received a large amount of money. How would you like to use the money?

2. If there are proper usages of the money, what are they likely to be?

3. What kind of essay plan do you think you can construct on this topic?

☆Hints for Points

1.    facilities

I would like to make the library / computer room / laboratory /gymnasium / cafeteria of my school better / larger / cleaner.

2.    System

I would like to start an exchange-students program / scholarship for disadvantaged students.

3.    Environment

I would like to improve the school buildings / quad of my school / the school zone.

☆Preparation

A. Make a presentation to your partner/group member on this topic answering the following questions.

1.    Problem: What is wrong?

2.    Your Plan: What should be done?

3.    Expected Benefits: How will it benefit my school?

4.    Expected Problems: What sort of obstacles can be expected and how can it be managed or be ignorable?

B. Ask questions about the points made in the presentation by your partner/group member. It would help him or her with writing an essay on this topic later.

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

Writing for the TOEFL iBT, p. 331, Barron’s

Our school has many needs, but I think the best way to spend a gift of money is on new classroom equipment. Our school is old. We don’t have enough desks and chairs for all the students and our classroom furniture is out of repair. If we buy new equipment, the students will feel better and want to work hard. The community will take pride in our school. New equipment will last a long time, so we will feel the benefit of the gift for many years.

It is hard for students to study when there aren’t enough chares in the classroom. It is hard for them to use old, broken blackboards. It is hard when there aren’t good bookshelves and cabinets to organize the classroom supplies. With new equipment, students will feel like school is a nice place to be. They will feel like the teachers care about them. They will be motivated to study harder and do the best job they can.

It is hard for the community to feel proud of a school that looks old and broken. If members of the community visit the school and see new classroom equipment, they might feel better about the school. They might say, “This school has improved, and we can improve it more.” They might be motivated to contribute money and volunteer time to further improve the school. Every school is better when community members become involved. New equipment can help motivate them.

We could spend the gift money on educational trips for the students. We could spend it on supplies such as paper and pencils or on books. All these things are important for education, but they don’t last. Students this year will benefit, but students five years from now won’t. Classroom equipment, on the other hand, lasts many years. If we spend the money on equipment, students will benefit for many years to come.

New classroom equipment will motivate both students and community members to improve their participation in school. Everyone will benefit from new equipment now and in the future as well. Therefore, I think this is one of the best ways we can spend a gift of money to our school.

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】If my school has received a large donation and if I had the power to decide how to use it, I would set up a fund for a domestic home stay program.

【Current Problem】There are many students who want to have a homestay but cannot due to financial reasons or opposition from a family member.

【Your Plan】My plan is to make a fund for a domestic home stay program so that students can stay with native speakers of English who are staying in Japan.

【Benefits】The financial burden would be lighter, and in case something goes wrong, adjustment can be made more quickly and easily than in the case of real home stay.

【Counterargument-treatment】Staying with foreign residents at home is essentially different from staying abroad. However, it is better to have some kind of experience of living with native speakers of English from different cultures than to have no such experience. In addition, language acquisition heavily depends on constant contact with the native speakers.

【Conclusion】If my school had a windfall, funding for staying with foreign families would help improve many students’ performances.

【導入】もし私の学校が大きな寄付を受け、使い道を決める権限が私にあったとしたら国内留学制度基金を設立するだろう。

【現在の問題】ホームステイをしたいが経済的な問題か家族の反対によってできない生徒が沢山いる。

【計画】私の計画は生徒が日本に滞在している英語のネイティヴスピーカーの家に滞在できるように国内留学制度の為の基金を作ることだ。

【利益】金銭的負担が軽くなり、何か問題が起こった場合、調整が本物のホームステイより容易に速くできる。

【予測される問題点】国内の外国人居住者宅での滞在は海外滞在と本質的に異なる。しかし異文化出身の英語のネイティブスピーカーと生活する何らかの経験があることはその様な経験が全くないよりましだ。なぜなら言語の獲得はその言語の話し手との継続的接触に大きく頼っているからだ。

【結論】もし私の学校が思わぬ大金を得たら、外国人家庭滞在への資金提供が多くの生徒の成績改善を助けるだろう。

☆Sample Paragraph Development

【Current Problem】There are many students who want to have a homestay but cannot due to financial reasons or opposition from a family member.

【Explanation】In most cases, they cannot afford it.

【Example】For example, homestay programs cost a lot.

【More Specific Example】To have a couple of homestay in America, you have to pay hundreds of thousands of yen to the agency. This is as much money as having a surgery or moving into a new apartment room. Thus it is a heavy financial burden for students as well as their parents.

【Follow-up】Also, staying abroad for a long time demands too much sacrifice from high school students as they lose time for other important activities like club activities or spending time with family and friends. Some family members even oppose the plan for the loss.

【Wrap-up】It would be nice if all students who are eager to learn English and other cultures had opportunities to have a homestay without worrying about family budget and feeling loss.

【現在の問題】ホームステイをしたいが経済的な問題か家族の反対によってできない生徒が沢山いる。

【説明】ほとんどの場合金銭的余裕がないのだ。

【例】例えばホームステイ用プログラムはお金がかかる。

【より具体的な例】アメリカで2週間ホームステイするのに代理店に何十万円も支払う。これは手術を受けたり新しいアパートに引っ越したりするのにかかるのと同じ金額だ。従って親はもとより生徒にとって金銭的精神的負担になる。

【補足】また海外に長期滞在するのは部活動や家族や友人と時間を過ごすといった他の重要な活動のための時間を失うので高校生にはあまりにも大きな犠牲を要求する。家族の中にはその喪失を理由に計画に反対する者もいる。

【まとめ】英語と異文化を熱心に学びたい生徒が皆家計の心配と喪失感なしでホームステイする機会があればよい。

Your Test Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Example in general】

【Examples in detail】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】