TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? / Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. - rewrites -

Writing Topic 1

If you could study a subject that you have never had the opportunity to study, what would you choose? Explain your choice, using specific reasons and details.

☆Let’s think

What to write about

You could choose a subject related to your study or interests. They can be related to your major, hobby, future goal, or interests. Also, you could choose a subject that is totally different from your field. For example, if your main interest is economy, you could choose Latin American literature.

How to write it

You are supposed to explain your choice. What if you have only a vague idea and do not know how to explain? This test requires you to write at least 300 words in an organized way. One idea to come up with good words of explanation might be to follow good old grade school writing method: to answer the questions starting with Wh or H. Who / What made you interested in it? When / Where did it happen? How did you become interested in it? Why do you want to learn it?

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions   (Barron’s, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, pp.283-284)

xxx

♦Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

If I had time to study a subject that I have never had the opportunity to study, I would study astrophysics because I have a feeling that it will give me an opportunity to think about life and universe, for it deals with the physics and the universe and involves studies of both the invisible matters and huge objects in the vast space. A memorable word of one of the members of the art club I belonged to in my high school days has made me interested in it. He said, “Electrons circling around atoms is similar to planets orbiting the sun, isn’t it?” Unfortunately, this inspiring analogy of physics between the smallest and the largest never really encouraged me to study the related subjects at that time and I chose the humanities. Young people are sensitive to the clues to solve questions in life and universe which all things around are always hinting to humans, and this high school friend of mine had a particularly strong perception of these clues. In the course of gaining knowledge about this word of his, I hope that I will have a glimpse of the secret of life and universe which I have missed in my youth.

Your Sample Paragraph Development

If I had time to study a subject that I have never had the opportunity to study, I would study … because …

(Answers to Who / What / When / Where / How)

Writing Topic 2

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

☆Let’s think

Finding a counter example

One of the key words of this statement is “only”. Not many things can be described with words like “only” or “all,” so trying to focus on proving this statement is wrong might be a good start. To prove that a statement that only A is B is wrong, all you have to do is to show that non-A is also B. Therefore, to disagree with the statement that only people who earn a lot of money are successful, you just show that those who do not earn a lot of money are also successful.

Thinking about the definition of “successful”

Another key word of this statement is “successful”. What is the definition of being successful? Reaching a goal helps one feel successful personally, but, to others, it might not be successful. A murderer who has killed the person he believed should not be in this world cannot be called a successful person other than to those who have the same belief as this person. It seems that, to be successful, a person must meet some unsaid criteria set by the society. What kinds of people are said to be successful? They might be those who have money, a higher status, or a good life. They might also be admired by many people or have accomplished something important.

Thinking about “making a lot of money”

Is money an essential factor to be regarded as a successful person? Is your uncle who owns a venture business producing a lot of money successful while another uncle of yours who is a dedicated high school teacher everyone in his community respects is not successful?

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】I do not think earning a lot of money is necessary to be successful because  there are people who are looked upon as successful even though they do not make a lot of money.

【Point 1】A person can be regarded as successful if the person earns respect from the world by doing what he believes right.   e.g. Vincent van Gogh

【Point 2】A person can be regarded as successful if the person is leading a happy, decent life which most people would wish to be theirs.   e.g. a happy, good scientist

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】Deep in our heart, we know that becoming rich is not very important in life.   e.g. People consider how a certain rich person became rich in deciding whether he or she is successful or not.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】People who earn a lot of money are successful in making money, and there are many people who are regarded as successful in other aspects of life.

Sample Conclusions

1)    From the examples above, it is clear that there are many counter examples against the statement that only people who earn a lot of money are successful. Therefore, I cannot agree with the idea.

2)    A large income is not the prerequisite for being successful. Thus, it cannot be said that only those who make a lot of money are successful.

3)    When we think of history, there are few people we remember simply because they were rich. Overall, we remember people who did something with their lives―that were influential in politics, or contributed to science or art or religion. If history is the ultimate judge of success, then money surely isn’t everything. (Barron’s, Writing for the TOEFL iBT, p.322)

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Sample Paragraph Development

Sample Paragraph Development 1

【Topic Sentence】A person can be regarded as successful if the person earns respect from the world by doing what he believes right.

【Supporting Detail - in general】Many artists and musicians young people aspire to be like in the future were never rich.  

【Supporting Detail - specific】For example, Vincent van Gogh is one of the most famous and successful artists. His paintings are sold at high prices. It might be difficult to find a museum of modern art without a van Gogh. Department stores have retrospectives of van Gogh as often as those of Impressionists and the is no fine art textbook without his paintings.

【Follow up】However, he never became rich by selling his paintings while he was alive. What makes him successful is that he knew his artistic experiment was on the right track and made the world recognize it through his works.

【Conclusion】 Although he was not happy in his private life and he was never rich, his life was successful as an artist.

Sample Paragraph Development 2

【Topic Sentence】A person leading a happy, decent life which most people would wish to be theirs can be called a successful person.

【Supporting Detail - in general】              For example, a devoted scientist can be successful even if he does not earn enough to enjoy extravagance.

【Supporting Detail - specific】His life is full of joy because he is doing what he wants to do. In other words, he has a purpose in life and makes efforts for it day by day.

【Follow up】His research may not see a breakthrough in his lifetime, but he is still happy because he knows that what he is doing is part of a large current of a scientific pursuit in which he shares his interest and passion with his numerous associates around the world, including those in the past and in the future.

【Conclusion】 If a person earns sufficiently and lives a respectable, fulfilling life, he can be called a successful person.

☆Your Paragraph Development

【Topic Sentence】

【Supporting Detail - in general】

【Supporting Detail - specific】

【Follow up】

【Conclusion】