TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Imagine that the school you attend has received a large donation of money. If you had the power to decide how to spend this money, how would you choose to use the money? - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Imagine that the school you attend has received a large donation of money. If you had the power to decide how to spend this money, how would you choose to use the money? Offer specific reasons to explain your response.

☆Let’s Think

Pair Work

1. What is the difference between the following two questions?

a. Imagine that you have received a large amount of money. How would you like to use the money?

b. Imagine that your school has received a large amount of money. How would you like to use the money?

2. If there are proper usages of the money, what are they likely to be?

3. How can you construct the essay on this topic?

☆Hints for Points

1.    facilities

I would like to make the library / computer room / laboratory /gymnasium / cafeteria of my school better / larger / cleaner.

2.    System

I would like to start an exchange-students program / scholarship for disadvantaged students.

3.    Environment

I would like to improve the school buildings / quad of my school / the school zone.

☆Preparation

A. Make a presentation to your partner/group member on this topic answering the following questions.

1.    Problem: What is wrong?

2.    Your Plan: What should be done?

3.    Expected Benefits: How will it benefit my school?

4.    Expected Problems: What sort of obstacles can be expected and how can it be managed or ignorable?

B. Ask questions about the points made in the presentation by your partner./group member It would help him or her with writing an essay on this topic later.

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

Writing for the TOEFL iBT, p. 331, Barron’s

...

☆Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】If my school has received a large donation and if I had the power to decide how to use it, I would set up a fund for a domestic home stay program.

【Current Problem】There are many students who want to have a homestay but cannot.

【Your Plan】My plan is to make a fund for a domestic home stay program so that students can stay with native speakers of English who are staying in Japan.

【Benefits】The financial burden would be lighter, and in case something goes wrong, adjustment can be done more quickly and easily than the case of real home stay.

【Counterargument-treatment】Staying with foreign residents at home is essentially different from staying abroad. However, it is better to have some kind of experience of living with foreign people than to have no experience with it, because language acquisition heavily depends on constant contact with the speakers.

【Conclusion】If my school had a windfall, funding for staying with foreign families would help improve many students’ performances.

【導入】もし私の学校が大きな寄付を受け、使い道を決める権限が私にあったとしたら国内留学制度基金を設立するだろう。

【現在の問題】ホームステイをしたいができない生徒が沢山いる。

【計画】私の計画は生徒が日本に滞在している英語のネイティヴスピーカーの家に滞在できるように国内留学制度の為の基金を作ることだ。

【利益】金銭的負担が軽くなり、何か問題が起こった場合、調整が本物のホームステイより容易に速くできる。

【予測される問題点】国内の外国人居住者宅での滞在は海外滞在と本質的に異なる。しかし海外の人と生活する何らかの経験があることはその経験が全くないよりましだ。なぜなら言語の獲得はその言語の話し手との継続的接触に大きく頼っているからだ。

【結論】もし私の学校が思わぬ大金を得たら、外国人家庭滞在への資金提供が多くの生徒の成績改善を助けるだろう。

☆Sample Paragraph Development

【Current Problem】There are many students who want to have a homestay but cannot.

【Explanation】In most cases, they cannot afford it.

【Example】For example, homestay program costs a lot.

【More Specific Example】To have a couple of homestay in America, you have to pay hundreds of thousands of yen to the agency, This is as much money as having a surgery or moving into a new apartment room. Thus it is a financial and mental burden for students as well as their parents.

【Follow-up】Also, staying abroad for a long time demands too much sacrifice from high school students as they lose time for other important activities like club activities or spending time with family and friends.

【Wrap-up】It would be nice if all students who are eager to learn English had opportunities to have a homestay without worrying about family budget and feeling loss.

【現在の問題】ホームステイをしたいができない生徒が多い。

【説明】ほとんどの場合金銭的余裕がないのだ。

【例】例えばホームステイ用プログラムはお金がかかる。

【より具体的な例】アメリカで2週間ホームステイするのに代理店に何十万円も支払う。これは手術を受けたり新しいアパートに引っ越したりするのにかかるのと同じ金額だ。従って親はもとより生徒にとって金銭的精神的負担になる。

【補足】また海外に長期滞在するのは部活動や家族や友人と時間を過ごすといった他の重要な活動のための時間を失うので高校生にはあまりにも大きな犠牲を要求する。

【まとめ】英語を熱心に学びたい生徒が皆家計の心配と喪失感なしでホームステイする機会があればよい。

Your Test Paragraph Development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Detail / Example in general】

【More Specific Detail / Example】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】

TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, Most important discoveries are accidental. - rewrite -

  Writing Topic

Consider the following statement. Most important discoveries are accidental. Do you agree or disagree with this idea? Support your response by including specific reasons and examples.

☆Research

1) What are the synonyms and antonyms of accidental?

2) Let’s see if there are examples of accidental, important discoveries.

3) What are the examples of important discoveries that are not accidental?

4) What does Dr. Ohsumi, the Nobel laureate for research on autophasy, has to say about “useless” research.  For reference: http://fpcj.jp/en/j_views-en/magazine_articles-en/p=49167/

☆Let’s Think

Discussion

1) Let’s make sure the difference between discovery and invention by giving examples of discoveries and inventions.

2) What kind of discoveries are important?

3) Why is the discovery of the expansion of the universe said to be important?

4) Are most important discoveries accidental?

☆Hints for Points

1. No one knows what is really important.

何が本当に重要か誰も知らない。

It is said that our ancestors found that cooked meet tastes better and is better for digestion when they found some partly-burnt game after a fire. We might have been leaping the result of serendipitous discoveries most of the time since then. We do not really know a lot about matters and the universe. Thus, we cannot know where something important exists. Scientists, who know about matters and the universe more than ordinary people, stress the importance of basic research, which is done because we do not know what we should expect as the outcome. Among the outcomes, the findings that happened to be useful to human society are called important discoveries.

私たちの祖先は火事の後部分的に焼けた獲物を見つけた時に調理した肉がより味が良く消化に良いことに気付いたと言われている。それ以来大抵の場合偶然の発見の結果を刈り取ってきただけなのかもしれない。物質や宇宙について実は私たちはあまり多くを知らない。従ってどこに重要なものがあるか分かるはずがない。科学者は一般人より物質や宇宙についてよく知っているが基礎研究の重要性を強調する。基礎研究は結果として予測すべきことが分からないので行われる。その結果の中でたまたま人間社会で役に立つ発見は重要な発見と呼ばれる。

2. Not most but some discoveries are accidental.

大部分ではなくいくつかの発見が偶然なのだ。

Dramatic discoveries make strong impressions, making us believe that most discoveries are accidental. In reality, those so-called accidental discoveries are exceptions and most important discoveries are far from chances. Atomic energy, Higgs boson, and gravitational waves are all important scientific discoveries that were made systematically with huge subsidies and through the collaboration of a large number of people in the related fields after some geniuses who knew well about the area of science thought of the idea and constructed the theories.

劇的発見は強い印象を残し、大抵の発見は偶然だと信じてしまう。実際はいわゆる偶然の発見は例外であり大抵の重要な発見は偶然ではない。原子力もヒッグス粒子も重力波も全て科学のその分野を良く知っている天才がアイディアを思いついて理論を構築した後は多くの助成金を使って組織的にそして関連分野の多くの人達の協力を通してなされた重要な科学的発見だ。

3. Budget allocation decides what will be found.

予算配分によって発見されるものが決まる。

In a narrow sense, importance is priority, and today’s important discoveries are products of strenuous efforts financed by those in power. Governments and big businesses back up projects that would yield findings that are thought to be important. There is no finding something important without money. Discoveries of DNA, semi-conductors workable at relatively higher temperatures, and iPS cells, to name a few, have all been made in laboratories and other facilities funded by those that were interested in the results. There are cases in which scientists find a treasure in by-products such as the finding of carbon nanotube, but such cases are exceptions. However, almost all important discoveries do not happen by accident.

狭い意味では重要性は優先事項だ。そして今日の重要な発見は権力者によって融資されたたゆまぬ努力の産物だ。政府と大企業が重要だと考えられる発見をもたらすだろう計画を後押しする。お金なくして重要な発見はできない。少し名を挙げてもDNAや比較的高い温度で使える半導体やiPS細胞の発見は全て結果に利害を持つ人達によって資金提供された研究所や他の設備でなされた。カーボンナノチューブの発見のように副産物の中に科学者が宝物を発見する場合もある。しかしほとんどすべての重要な発見は偶然には起こらない。

                                                                       

4. Necessity named chance is the mother of discovery.

偶然という名の必然が発見の母である。

There seems to be what you might call a necessary coincidence. There is a thought before a so-called accidental finding occurs. Many Europeans had suspected that a ship which keeps going west would never fall but reach a shore before the “accidental” discovery of America. Even the famous discovery of the mural in the Lascaux cave might not have been made unless the children who happened to see it were educated enough to be aware that it was not just graffiti but something special. Before the “Eureka!” moment came to Archimedes in the bathtub, he had taken a bath thousands of times, but only when he had been thinking hard about a problem did he “discover” the answer in the related phenomenon the moment he dipped his body in the bathtub. An important discovery comes as a necessity to a perceptive mind.

必然的偶然と呼べるかもしれないものがあるようだ。いわゆる偶然の発見が起こる前に思想がある。アメリカが「偶然」発見される前に多くのヨーロッパ人が西に進み続ける船は落ちることは決してなく岸に到達するのではないかと思っていた。ラスコー洞窟の壁画の有名な発見でさえたまたま見た子供たちがただの落書きではなく何か特別なものだと気付くだけ十分に教育を受けていなければ起こらなかっただろう。入浴中のアルキメデスに「分かった」瞬間が来る前に彼は何千回もお風呂に入っていたが、ある問題を一生懸命考えていた時だけ、バスタブに体を浸した瞬間関連する現象にその答えを「発見」したのだ。重要な発見は鋭い精神に必然としてやってくる。

☆Essay Structure

Sample 1

【Introduction】I agree with the statement that most important discoveries are accidental because chance is what the word discovery is all about.

【Point 1】It is the nature of science to do combing investigation in addition to reasoning, and as a result, it finds something significant or useful.

【Point 2】History is full of examples of chance discoveries.

【Counterargument-treatment】Applied science intends to find something from the beginning, but it also often tries to achieve the goal by trial and error. Recent trend of cutting subsidies for fundamental studies will narrow the range of our knowledge and lower possibilities of new discoveries of significance.

【Conclusion】We do not know a lot about the world as we might think we do.

【導入】発明という言葉で大切なのは偶然なのでほとんどの重要な発見は偶然だという発言に賛成だ。

【要点1】推論に加えてしらみつぶしの調査をするのが科学の性質で、その結果何か意味深い物や有益なものを見つける。

【要点2】歴史は偶然の発見でいっぱいだ。

【反論処理】応用化学は最初から何かを見つけようと意図しているが応用化学もまた.しばしば試行錯誤によって目標を達成しようとする。基礎研究の助成金削減という最近の傾向は知識の範囲を狭め、新しい重要な発見の可能性を下げるだろう。

【結論】私たちは思っているほど世界について知らない。

Sample 2

【Introduction】I disagree with the opinion that most important discoveries are accidental because it is necessary to notice importance in something to make a discovery.

【Point 1】Interest always exists before an important scientific discovery.

【Point 2】The same can be said about non-scientific discoveries.

【Counterargument-treatment】Scientists might modestly attribute their discoveries to pure luck. However, to say something is accidental, total absence of interest in the discovered should be proved and in no case of discovery can we find it.

【Conclusion】Strictly speaking, there is not serendipity.

【導入】大抵の重要な発見は偶然だという意見に反対だ。発見をするためには何かの重要性に気付く必要があるからだ。

【要点1】重要な科学関連の発見以前には必ず興味が存在する。

【要点2】科学関連でない発見にも同じことが言える。

【反論処理】科学者は謙遜して自分たちの発見を純粋な幸運のおかげだというかもしれない。しかし何かが偶然だというためには発見されたものへの完全な興味の不在がなくてはならず、そしてどんな発見にも興味の不在は見つからない。

【結論】厳密に言って偶然の重要な発見はひとつもない。

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction = Outline】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3 / Counterargument-treatment】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆Paragraph development

【Main Idea】Interest always exists before an important discovery.

【Explanation】No discoverer of something important is totally ignorant of the importance of it.

【Example】For example, famous discoveries of scientific significance with legendary stories of accidental events that led to the findings have been made by scientists who had been inquiring about the related problems.

【More Specific Example】Newton had been interested in matter and motion before he saw a phenomenon and found gravity. Fleming, who discovered penicillin when he saw a part unaffected by mold in a petri dish, was a bacteriologist and had been handling molds in his laboratory for years.

【Follow-up】It is true that there are such stories as a grade school boy happened to find a piece of a meteorite, but the boy interested in weird-looking stones found it, not the other people who had stepped on it.

【Wrap-up】An important phenomenon or matter is meaningless till a mind of inquiry contacts it.

【主張】重要な発見の前にはいつも興味が存在する。

【説明】何か重要なことを発見した人でその重要性に無知だった人はいない。

【例】例えば発見に至った偶然の出来事の伝説的な話がある科学的に重要な発見は関連する問題についていつも探求していた科学者たちによってなされてきた。

【より具体的な例】ニュートンはある現象を見て引力を発見する前に物質と動きについてずっと興味を持っていた。フレミングはペトリ皿のカビに影響されていない部分を見た時ペニシリンを発見したが、彼は細菌学者で何年も研究室でカビを取り扱っていた。

【補足】小学生が隕石を偶然見つけるというような話は確かにあるが、 それを踏みつけていた他の人達ではなく変わった見かけの石に興味のある少年が見つけたのだ。

【まとめ】重要な現象や物は探求心が接触するまでは意味を持たない。

Your test paragraph development

【Main Idea】

【Explanation】

【Follow-up】

【Wrap-up】