TOEFL iBT Independent Writing Television and communication with friends and family - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

 

 

☆Let’s think

1.       What did families use to do in the evening or on holidays before television was invented?

2.       Do you agree or disagree with the statement of the writing topic? Why?

 

 

☆Hints for Points

Agree

1.       When watching television, people communicate less than when they are not watching television, and the conversations are about television. Some people might not call it communication.

2.       Television reduces time to do activities that involve communication. On holidays, many people spend most of the day watching television. Sports fans, for instance, spend most of their free time enjoying live sporting events or sports news shows on television without a word.

3.       We are too busy following TV programs and keep up with trends to talk with our folks.

4.       The spread of television sets may have separated people as they watch programs in their own rooms.

 

Disagree

1.       Television helps us (to) open up.

2.       Television supplies us with mutual interest.

3.       Some discussion might not be possible without information provided by television.

4.   It is not television but personality that separates us. A communicative family talk with their television on, while a quiet family stay quiet with or without a television set.

 

 

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

If communication is to learn about each other and strengthen or change relationships, doing it while staring at the TV screen may not be a good idea because television makes us shut up and instill ourselves with what is broadcast, occupying our time and mind. Thus, I agree with the statement that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family.

Before television became popular, families would spend time communicating face to face when they got together. They used to talk about their day or pass down their family history, folk tales, morals, or important information about the community. They would also share joy of life like watching their youngest member starting to walk or talk together. We do not do these things anymore because we watch television.

Television has reduced the quantity and quality of communication. We become absorbed in the powerful entertainment it provides, and it is difficult to talk to someone who is concentrating. Communication over television is not as meaningful as communication without television, in which each other’s whole being interacts. Doing something else such as washing the dishes together would make you feel more intimate than watching television together. Nevertheless, we turn on the television because it is there in the room. Some even use television to avoid communication. A busy mother may put her inquisitive child in front of television, or a teenage son may pretend to be listening to an anchor to avoid his father’s questions.

   The contents of television may not have connected people so much as they have isolated them. Unlike the old days when family and friends shared the same culture, individuals have their own interests now. Many have a personal terminal, and the number of channels and programs are countless. This divides family and friends. People feel they are more associated with those who share the same interest with them. For example, anime fans relate to each other more often than they do to their blood relatives. Although this may make them happy, they often lose touch with the people around them.

It is true that television can help induce communication. You could laugh together or pick up a conversation piece as you watch television. However, these interactions are usually shallow. They convey only simple messages for affection or agreement, or some basic information, which can be shared without the medium of television. When a lively conversation is going on around a TV set, the topic is often related not to the conversation members but to the program. The exchange may convey some information about each other, but seldom does it trigger an in-depth exchange of thoughts and feelings.

   When people seriously want to communicate with someone, they do not give a glimpse to the TV screen. However, in ordinary moments of life, television keeps their attention, makes them strangers to each other, and prevents them from strengthening their bonds. Therefore, it can be said that television has reduced our opportunities to communicate with family and friends. Perhaps keeping eyes off the TV screen would help make better relationships.

 

☆Sample Essay Structures

Sample Essay Structure 1 

【Introduction】I agree with the statement that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family considering people had less distraction before.

【Point 1】Television has reduced time for communication.

【Point 2】The contents of television have isolated people.

【Counterargument-treatment】It is true that television can provide opportunities for communication, but usually the communication is not very meaningful.

【Conclusion】Television has lessened our communication because it now occupies our time and mind.  

 

Sample Essay Structure 2

【Introduction】I cannot totally agree with the opinion that television has taken away opportunities to communicate with friends and family because it is in itself a good medium for communication.

【Point for agreement】Evening and days-off are spent watching television.

【Point for disagreement 1】However, television can provide catalysts for communication. e.g. big news

【Point for disagreement 2】Also, television can be used to share information and ideas. e.g. election

【Conclusion】I think not television but the way television is used has prevented some of us from communicating with each other.

 

 

Your Sample Essay Structure

【Introduction】

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion】

 

 

☆A Tip of Making an Essay Structure

Here is one idea of organizing ideas before starting to write an essay. You can do it in the first five minutes of the writing. First, brainstorm, and then organize the ideas to make Points. Write the conclusion sentence and write the thesis sentence which matches the conclusion before starting to write the full essay. Develop of Points (Body Paragraphs). If you still have time, write full Introduction and then Conclusion. The following is the image of the first 4 steps of this procedure. The symbols represent images of a variety of thoughts.

 

STEP 1  Brainstorming

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STEP 2  Making Points

【Point 1】%%%%

【Point 2】$$$

【Point 3】$$$$$ However, @@

 

STEP 3  Making a conclusion

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】G!!!

 

STEP 4  Writing the introduction that matches the conclusion

【Introduction = Outline】G

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The actual structure of the essay made up of the ideas above is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】G

【Point 1】%%%%

【Point 2】$$$

【Point 3】$$$$$ However, @@

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】G!!!