TOEFL iBT Independent Writing What do you think is the one change in the twentieth century that is most important to remember? - revised -

Writing for Academic Discussion Lesson 25

Which event of the twentieth century stands out to you as particularly impactful, and why?  (history)

 

 

☆Let’s Think

1.        Name impactful events in the following categories: technology, economy, politics, medicine and culture.

 

Note: See Hints for Points.

 

2.        Read the following paragraph. How can it be improved?

In my opinion, the invention of the mobile phone is the one change in the twentieth century that is most important to remember. Smart phones are great. You can make a phone call anywhere. Also, they allow you to do many things such as searching on the Internet and taking a picture.

 

Note: The sample paragraph needs to tell how smart phones have changed life and society. One way to start explaining your opinion is to look for the answer in the question. In the case of this question, “impactful” is the key. It is related to great moments in history, stories of before and after the event, so you compare and contrast the situations before and after the event in your essay. In writing supporting details, it is effective to describe how great the impact was, in other words, in what way and how much your choice has changed society and the environment.

 

3.        What are the expressions to prove that something is a most important change?

 

Note:  Words and expressions to prove something is a most important change to remember would be as follows: has had a dramatic influence on, has provided a significant change of, has made everything more efficient than before, profoundly changed our perceptions or perspectives, has caused an irreversible change, has become the infrastructure of our life, or has made the world dependent on it.

 

 

☆Let’s make a point

Before writing your answer, let’s write about the points you are going to make by answering the following two questions.

 

Question 1  What is different before and after the event?

Sample response: I think the advent of the Internet stands out as particularly impactful in the last century. In the past, the information was something that was provided in limited amounts by the authorities. However, these days, because of the Internet, most information has become available to anyone. Also, it has become possible for anyone to provide information for others easily.

 

Your response

I think ………………………………………………………. is most important to remember in the last 100 years.

In the past, …………………………..……………………………………………………………………………………….

However, these days, because of …………………….…………………………………………………………………….

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...…

 

Question 2  How great was the impact of the event?

Sample responses

1)     The change brought by the Internet is most important to remember in that it has become the infrastructure of the world. 

2)     Its impact on our society was so great that no one in our society can live completely independent from the Internet any more.

 

Your short response

1)     The change brought by ………………………. is most important to remember in that…………………………..……………………………………………………………………………………………

2)     Its impact on our society was so great that …………………………………………………………..…………….

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

 

 

☆Hints for points

The Rapid Development of Technology: Technological breakthroughs had happened before, but it was in the 20th century that the rapid development of technology happened and the lives of people changed dramatically. Nowadays, thanks to electronic appliances, people have more leisure time than they did one hundred years ago and use it to do things other than daily chores. The changes were good for the most part, but since they happened in a short time, people did not have time to adapt to it or consider the bad influences. As a result, people in the 20th century left some negative assets to coming generations, such as pollution, global warming, threat of uncontrolled nuclear power, new types of crimes and so on. The first three are especially unprecedented in that they could wipe out mankind.

 

The Shift of Hegemony: The two world wars ended imperialism by force. People learned it the hard way that peaceful coexistence is basic to the prosperity of humankind. Although they are not perfect, efforts have been made to compromise and cooperate, and now no nation can invade another country without criticism. Meanwhile, America became the most powerful country in the world after WWI, replacing England. It has played the leading role in politics, business, and culture. Its military bases, trading posts, and pop culture spread all over the world. The competition of nuclear armament caused the threat of nuclear war (the Cold War), but it ended when the Soviet Union disintegrated at the end of the century, although both countries still have around 6,000 atomic bombs. At the end of the century, China gained power, making close economic ties with the world, including America.

 

Globalization: The development of transportation and communication allowed corporations do business worldwide. They can now build their branches and factories in other countries, import cheap materials from other countries, and sell their products in other countries. As a result, people all over the world use the same kind of things, and share more information than before. The drawback of this change is world-side class war. People in developing countries are exploited at sweatshops for low wages under horrible conditions, while people in developed countries lost regular work because of outsourcing, moving factories to developing countries, as well as the loss of indigenous languages, traditions, and cultures.

 

Climate Chane and Environmental Movement: The Industrialization, which started in the 17th century, had been causing environmental destruction. Other than pollutions, global warming and its effects were found, and the cause was identified to be burning of fossil fuels. The environmentalism, or the environmental movement to tackle these problems started in the 1960’s. The activists have made some great changes, but failed to stop climate change due to their financial relationship with the industry in which they helped greenwashing and stalled substantial change in oil digging and other harmful activities. Now the CO2 level is over the point of no return and climate crisis started in the 21st century.

 

The Birth of the Entertainment Industry: The entertainment industry has changed our lifestyle. Before the 20th century, even though they had fun activities, people did not have what we now call the entertainment. However, with movies, radio, and television, the entertainment industry has developed in the last century, and people started watching TV programs and enjoying related activities instead of reading books or spending time with other people. Following the trend in the entertainment industry has become the most important for many. Although this change has enriched our lives in various ways, the entertainment industry has promoted consumerism and made it easier for governments and corporations to control people’s thoughts.

 

 

☆Sample Answer for Ideas and Expressions

【Thesis】A series of big wars stands out to me as a particularly impactful event in the twentieth century.

【Supporting Details】Not to speak of the casualties and loss of properties, World Wars I and II left the world with the United Nations and new technologies. The United Nations, though far from functioning properly, has become the beacon of the civil society, promising human rights to all humans on earth. The technological inventions became double edged swords, such as nuclear power and perfluoroalkyl and polyfluoroalkyl, or PFAS. They have contributed to the development of our society and made our lives comfortable, but they have also irreversibly changed our lives. The PFAS substances have become numerous new products like Scotch Tape and Post-it pads, but this toxic chemical is now in everyone’s blood and affects our reproduction. Nuclear power has provided enough energy for ever increasing population. However, thousands of nuclear warheads are now in place. In the case of Japan, radiation from the crippled Fukushima Daiichi Nuclear Power Plant is to be distributed around the islands. The Cold War, which followed WWII, gave birth to NATO and military industrial complex especially in the US. After the end of the Soviet Union, NATO not only kept existing but also expanded, causing conflicts and the US government addicted to war.

【Conclusion】This series of change seems to me have pushed the world to the point of no-return. Therefore, it is most important event to remember in the twentieth century. (241 words)

 

 

Write your response in 10 minutes. Show each other your responses. Write down questions or suggestions to each other’s response.

 

 

                                                   DRAFT