2016年9月30日金曜日

TOEFL, iBT, Independent Writing, Smoking cigarettes should become illegal. - rewrite -

Writing Topic
Some people think that smoking cigarettes should become illegal, since it provides little benefit and a great deal of health risk, others feel that individuals should be free to smoke cigarettes if they choose to do so. Do you think cigarette smoking should be stopped by making it illegal or should it remain legal?

Writing Topic with hints: The question itself is simple: Should cigarette smoking be illegal or not? However, before the question, this topic has hints for you to consider. You could either discuss the topic focusing on the hints or add your own view point, although it might be wise to take up either of them as counter-argument. In this topic, the point of the hints is the choice between prioritizing individuals’ health and respecting freedom and personal responsibility. In other words, this question can be translated as follows: Should cigarette smoking be illegal to protect one’s health or legal to respect one’s freedom and personal responsibility?

Hints for points
♦Cigarette smoking should be illegal because …
1. it is toxic and causes cancer and other serious diseases.
2. it is addictive.
3. there is the problem of second-hand smoke/smoking.
- Counterarguments: 1) There are measures to take to prevent second-hand smoke such as separate-smoking and ban on smoking in public areas. (Smoking will remain legal while smoking in certain areas will be illegal.) These measures are not practical because there are many smokers who do not comply with the rules and you cannot catch or shut up smoke completely. 2) Banning smoking will undermine the economy. Some estimate shows that the smoking related loss, mainly medical costs, surpasses the loss caused by tobacco ban. Even though the estimate is not flawless given other factors such as unhealthy lifestyle and environmental pollution, it is intuitively convincing, since fixing something costs more than destroying it in general.
- Conclusion: To protect public health, individual freedom can be limited.

♦Cigarette smoking should not be illegal because …
1. you have the right to do whatever you want to do even if it endangers your health.
2. other dangerous things such as alcoholic drinks or mountain climbing are not illegal.
3. smoking is a necessary evil like drinking and gambling because
a) it helps smokers release stress
b) it is an established part of economy. If cigarettes are banned, the economy will be affected. e.g the tobacco industry, coffee shops, music clubs, etc. and tax revenue (1 trillion yen in 2009 to 23 billion yen in 2010: 63% decrease after tobacco tax raise) Cigarette industry would go underground if banned. As in the case of cannabis, making it available to the public will reduce the number of addicts and dealers.
- Counterargumens: Secondhand smoke harms other people. Only public smoking should be banned.  - Conclusion: As long as measures are taken to prevent second-hand smoking, the choice between health and fun should be left to each individual.


Sample essay structures
Sample essay structure 1
Main Idea = OutlineCigarettes should be made illegal to protect younger generations and to solve the problem of passive smoking.
Reason 1 Smoking harms one’s health badly.
Reason 2 The number of those who start smoking can be greatly reduced.
Counterargument & Counter-counterargumentIt is true that individuals have the right to choose to do what they want to do, even potentially dangerous things, but smoking harm other individuals and should be restricted to protect the public good.
Conclusion = Wrap-upI am convinced that cigarette smoking should be banned because it will improve public health, especially that of the next generation.

Sample essay structure 2
Main Idea = OutlineIt is more dangerous to ban smoking than to make public totally smoke-free.
Reason 1 Smoking ban would harm democracy.
Reason 2 Making smoking illegal would just stir the society.
Counterargument & Counter-counterargumentIt is true that smoking provides little benefit and a great deal of health risk. However, the government should not force people a lifestyle, even though it can recommend it. Also, there are measures to protect other individuals from secondhand smoke.
Conclusion = Wrap-upEven though objectively it does no good, smoking should stay legal.


Your Sample Essay Structure
Main Idea = Outline I agree/disagree with --- because …

Reason 1


Reason 2


Counterargument-treatmentIt is understandable that some people think that smoking cigarettes should become illegal, since it provides little benefit and a great deal of health risk / I partly agree with the feeling that that individuals should be free to smoke cigarettes if they choose to do so. However,



Conclusion = Wrap-up



Essay for Ideas and Expressions
A heavy smoker’s family loses him twice. Long before he dies of a disease which seems to be related to this unhealthy habit, when they realize that they are helpless in making him quit smoking, they start a silent but desperate mourning of his early death. It is the sadness of seeing him die day by day. Still, this is actually a minor aspect of the tragedy of tobacco. Even though it might be difficult to put in practice because of smokers’ feelings and economic circumstances, cigarettes should be made illegal to protect younger generations and to solve the problem of second-hand smoke.

By making smoking illegal, the number of those who start smoking can be greatly reduced. Smokers find it difficult, and many of them believe it unnecessary, to quit smoking even though it has been scientifically proved that smoking causes lung cancer and other diseases. This is because smoking is addictive. When some toxic substance is addictive, making it illegal is one of the effective ways to reduce its harm. This is especially effective in preventing those who are not addicted, mostly the young, from initiating the use, since people usually stay away from things that are illegal.

Smoking seems to be a necessary evil and a matter of self-responsibility just like drinking and gambling, but the problem of second-hand smoke separates it from other indulgences. Cigarette smoke directly harms those who are around the smoker. Children of smokers are more susceptible to respiratory diseases than those of non-smokers. Many people are sensitive to cigarette smoke and feel ill when they inhale it. Although separate-smoking and public smoking ban are promoted, many smokers do not conform to the rules and it is impossible to block the contaminated air completely. Also, it is difficult to provide the evidence of unwanted exposure to smoke once the smoker puts it off and walks away. When some toxic fumes are around in everyday scenes, it is natural for the government to regulate them.

Banning smoking is difficult but possible. It seems that cigarettes stay legal because their social influence is not as big as that of drugs and they support the economy. Cigarettes do not make the user dangerous the way drugs do and smokers can keep functioning for decades. Also, the cigarette industry is an established part of economy and produce tax money, so that it is very difficult to terminate it. However, efforts toward changes necessary for public health have been made in the past. Coal was replaced by oil, which is cleaner than coal, and now oil is being replaced by much cleaner energy sources. Cigarettes themselves were a replacement, advocated by the government, for chewing tobacco, which was found to be contributing to the transmission of tuberculosis through saliva spat on the ground by the users. When the public health is at risk, the government should and can take measures.


Society is ultimately to be totally smoke-free to protect the health of citizens, especially younger generations, although care should be taken for smokers and those involved in the industry.

0 件のコメント:

コメントを投稿

注: コメントを投稿できるのは、このブログのメンバーだけです。