TOEFL iBT, Independent Writing, land usage - rewrite -

Writing Topic

Imagine that you have been given a large area of land to use however you wish. How would you choose to use this land?

☆Let’s Think

This is a hypothetical question with few conditions. It requires us to think about land usage. The word “land usage” often reminds you of investment and you might think of building condominiums on it and making a fortune by renting or selling them. However, I doubt if you can impress your raters with an essay based on this idea. Even if your idea is to use the money for philanthropy, the idea is still off the topic in that you do not tackle the core of the question: a good usage of a huge area of land, which is not just an object of investment but something that provides space, soil, ecological system, the atmosphere above it, life and joy of people, and many other good things that we can take advantage of.

To answer a hypothetical question with few specific conditions in the TOEFL independent writing section, it might be a safe strategy to stick to your specialty, the thing that you have a lot to write about to meet the minimum-300-word requirement. It would be easier to come up with a good idea if you think of the area that you know well and think if there is any good use of the land related to the area. You might ask yourself such questions as follows:

1.    What do you like or what are you interested in?

2.    What is the present situation?

3.    How would you use the land to change the present situation?

4.    How would you persuade readers to accept the idea?

In my humble case, the answers to these questions are as follows.

1.    What do you like or what are you interested in?   

I like crows.   

2.    What is the present situation?     

Most people hate crows.  

3.    How would you use the land to change the situation?

I would build a town for peaceful coexistence of crows and people.

4.    How would you persuade readers to accept the idea?

1)    By clearing up misunderstandings about crows

2)    By calling attention to the attractiveness of crows

3)    By arguing about the merits of making friends with crows 

☆Note

This question does not mention the cost. Therefore, you do not have to deal with it. You are dealing with a hypothetical question. This is the same as you do not care much about the inconsistency in fiction, for example, when you read a comic in which the main characters become smaller than oxygen molecules and still have no problem with breathing.

Now answer these questions, if you like.

1.    What do you like or what are you interested in?  

2.    What is the present situation?     

3.    How would you use the land to change the situation?

4.    How would you persuade readers to accept the idea?

e.g. By telling them who would benefit from the idea.

                                                                                              

☆Essay for Ideas and Expressions

There would be many wise or innovative uses of a large tract of land, but I would make it a town which is a test case for peaceful coexistence of people and jungle crows, a kind of crow, in my country Japan. No other birds are so stigmatized as crows, probably in Japan in particular. They are regarded as filthy garbage-eaters, spiteful punks, and the sign of death, yet, if observed carefully and without prejudice, they will turn out to be as likable as dolphins. In fact, some people even call them flying dogs.

Jungle crows are the big black birds often seen to be scattering the contents of garbage bags collected on the sidewalks of the cities in Japan. They used to live in forests and feed on dead animals on the ground. Development replaced trees with buildings and dead animals with garbage bags. They have been doing the same to survive, nesting on the power poles and eating food on the ground, but now humans are offended by their routine. Crows attack people only when they are near their young, and the worst thing they can do is to swoop from behind and kick, which they rarely actually do because they are afraid of humans. They remember the face of the person who attacked or threatened them and repeatedly retaliate, but think of their trauma and it is understandable that they do it for self-defense. The biggest stigma that crows bear is the image of death, which probably derives from their color. Surely they eat dead bodies but so do many other creatures, from bacteria to dogs. The fear of the color black is our problem, not theirs. In the eyes of humans on the ground crows on power lines are eerie dark spots in the sky, but seen from high above, they are precious pieces of life shining in purple and green. Incidentally, crows are much cleaner than other birds like chickens. They bathe a few times a day if possible.

Although loathed, crows are rather well known to be very smart, affectionate, and remarkable birds.　They store their food in hundred to several thousand places and remember them. They use their calls for their communication and use and, sometimes, make tools. Sometimes, their behavior cannot be explained by any other words but play. There are reports of crows repeatedly sliding down the slide or snow slope or hanging upside down from the power line. Also, jungle crows mimic many kinds of things such as human words or machine noises. They cherish their mates and babies. There are many reports that crows grieve the death of other crows. I myself know a jungle crow which missed its mate that suddenly disappeared for at least three years. One of the most striking things about crows is their eyes. As they can see ultraviolet like other birds, they can spot a piece of white bread on the snow field from high above. Now you might find this bird a little more interesting than before, if not wishing to make friends with it.

In my opinion, it is a shame that we do not have good relationships with jungle crows, these charming and interesting birds that happen to live closest to us, and here comes my model town for both jungle crows and humans. This town would have several parks full of tall trees to which the garbage jungle crows eat would be sent. Since jungle crows are originally from forests and tend to live where food is abundant, it can be easily expected that they would stay in the parks most of the time. Thus, they would never litter the streets. Moreover, they would be appreciated for their role as scavengers by taking away things people do not want to see lying on the ground such as a dead mouse. Also, the cost of waste incineration would be reduced and so would CO2 emissions. Humans can enter the parks and enjoy nature anytime except for crows’ breeding season. My wildest dream is to have crows participate in rescue operations. For their ability to fly a long distance and high cognitive level, not to mention the great eyesight, they could make good rescue crows. Of course to protect animal rights, only those that are willing and having the aptitude would be given the missions.

I once saw a jungle crow perched on a power line entertaining a dog down in a garage. The dog, wagging its tail and jumping around in the small space, looked quite happy to see its friend with wings. The scene reflected their positions in this world as one is confined and the other free. Crows could have been domesticated long ago since their cleverness must have been noticed by our ancestors, but they have not. I feel, with no offence to dogs, that crows know what dignity is and keep a distance from humans. They are hated but live proudly. They are sensitive enough to feel the pain of life, yet they won't give up on life and can do without such things as hope or dream or religion. Perhaps we could learn something important from them by living much closer to them than now.

(The information and ideas about crows included in this essay are taken from Karasu no Kyokasho by Hajime Matsubara)