TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Judging a person by external appearances -partly rewritten-

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. One should never judge a person by external appearances.

 

☆Let’s think

What do people mean by “external appearances”? Probably they mean mainly two things: body and clothing. Body includes your hair, face, stature, skin color, expressions, and so on. Clothing can be divided into two categories: clothing that shows your position in society or social status like uniforms or very expensive suit and clothing that shows your personality, taste, cultural back ground and so on.

 

You cannot always correctly decide what someone is like based only on your impression you have from the person’s appearances. Objectively, appearances are deceiving and your impression can be wrong. Sometimes you can tell the person by the looks, but other times you cannot. Also, the impression varies depending on individuals.

 

Now let’s think about the expression “should never” in this writing topic. There are things that we can do but we shouldn’t. We can sometimes judge a person by the appearances, but we shouldn’t do it, or sometimes should we? When your mother tells you that you should never do something, she is talking about dos and don’ts. When she says, “You should never judge a person by the appearances,” she does not deny the fact that there are people who are exactly what they look, but she means that appearances are only one of the factors by which you can tell who the person is and that it is wrong to judge the person without taking other factors into consideration.

 

 

☆Hints for points

♦Extreme cases of judging a person by the appearances:

Tragedies like a police man who shot a black man who was about to take out a wallet from his pocket –It’s a true story! Watch Michael Moor’s documentary– can be a case in point. The policeman probably judged the man by his skin color and what he was wearing and mistook him for a bad person and thought the wallet was a gun. In some countries, Muslim women wearing a scarf to cover their hair following their faith are discriminated against because people have bad images about the people who observe that peaceful religion. Voluptuous women are often supposed to be easy to approach and are harassed just by rejecting courtship in a polite way.

 

♦Everyday cases of judging a person by the appearances:

In everyday life, you often experience that someone turns out to be totally different from the impression you had when you first saw the person. We see many popular TV personalities who are as huge as sumo wrestlers in spite of some discrimination against heavy people. A neat businessman in expensive suit might be a thief –look at some Wall Street businessmen– and a gloomy-looking person may actually be a friendly person who is always just tired. On the other hand, it is also true that you can tell what the person is like to some degree by his or her appearances. Clothing and facial expressions, especially eyes, tell a lot about one’s personality and feelings. People in bright colors tend to be happy and outgoing. A person who is dressed sloppily is very likely lazy and lacks sense of sanitation.

 

♦Should we or shouldn’t we?:

1.    Shouldn’t: Judging a person by the appearances is forming a prejudice. It is ethically wrong to have prejudices. Seeing someone through stereotype is ignoring the person’s personality and dignity. You do not give the person a chance to prove himself. Many Japanese assume that a person who does not look like Japanese does not speak Japanese or cannot eat with chopsticks, and they would talk to them as if they were talking to babies or give them fork or spoon at dinner without asking them if they speak Japanese or use chopsticks. Their prejudice against foreigners makes their hospitality a caricature to put it lightly.

 

2.    Shouldn’t: Judging a person by the appearances may disturb communication and harm the person and your relationships. There is a study which shows people change the way they talk depending on the appearances of the person they are talking to and that the reactions of those who are talked to change accordingly. In the experiment, a young woman seated in a cubicle alone speaks like a very beautiful woman would when talked to by a young man outside the cubicle who is shown a picture of a different woman who is very beautiful and told that he is talking to her. It can easily be inferred that the opposite is true. If you believe someone is mean and disgusting, while he is actually not, your attitude toward the person would be different from that you would have when you consider him to be a good person, and the person might respond by acting exactly like a mean and disgusting person.

 

3.    Sometimes, you should: In the case of clothing, you are what you wear. Knowingly wear something that does not represent you is the decision that you do not mind being treated as someone else. Not knowingly dressed like a person whose personality or social status is different from oneself shows that something is wrong with the person.

 

Counterargument: There are cases in which one has to wear something that one does not want to, like poverty, accidents, or bullying. For example, when a properly dressed woman was made to sit on some filth or sprayed a terrible odor in the bathroom by some bullies, she would have to go home and change into something less proper, but that does not change what she really is. Also, there are people who intentionally get dressed differently from what they should look like. Some company presidents are famous for getting dressed as a janitor to interact with the rank and files in their offices.

 

 

 

☆Making the framework of the full essay

The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: A counterargument is an expected rebuttal. Taking up a counterargument when necessary is important to get a higher score. You do not really have to deal with the counterargument in the third paragraph of the body as in the structure sample above. You can deal with a counterargument in an appropriate part of a paragraph. Also, you can use a whole paragraph to deal with it.

 

 

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay. You do not have to write in full sentences. Writing down key words and expressions is fine. You can use them as the main ideas and examples for your full essay.

♦Sample framework notes

【Introduction = Outline】I agree with the opinion that one should never judge a person by external appearances because doing so is forming a bias.

【Point 1】You cannot always correctly judge someone based only on your impression you have from the person’s appearances. Therefore, decision made only by the external appearances is biased.

【Point 2】It is ethically wrong to have prejudices.

【Point 3】Also, it may disturb communication and harm the person and your relationships.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Judging someone by the appearances should be avoided under any circumstances because it is a wrong thing to do and potentially dangerous.

 

 

Your framework notes

【Main Idea = Outline】

I would like to invent a machine that can　…

because …

 

【Point 1】

 

 

 

【Point 2】

 

 

 

【Point 3】

 

 

 

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

 

 

 

 

 

☆TOEFL iBT Independent Writing Section requires minimum 300 words. These are some ideas that you could use when you realize you are not going to clear the 300 near the end of the time limit.

To increase the volume of your essay, find the shortest paragraph and …

1) describe/develop the main idea well: If a paragraph has only one or two sentences, chances are that you have not described/developed well enough. Make sure that each paragraph has its main idea, supporting details (examples), conclusion, and additional supporting details like counter-argument treatment if necessary.

2) describe/develop each sentence well: A statement usually has some exception or needs some condition or concession. Look for a sentence that you can add a reason, condition, concession, or any other additional information, and add “except …”, “as long as …”, “although …”, as well as “because …”

3) describe words well: Which of the following sentences gives a clear picture of someone’s pet?    A) I have a pet.   B) I have a cute cat.   C) I have a little fluffy kitten. With two adjectives and a specific noun, Sentence C) depicts an adorable pet well and it happens to be the longest of the three. Also, use transitions such as First, Also, Moreover, Therefore when necessary.

4) discuss other choices: Even if the Writing Topic does not say, “Discuss the two views” or “Compare and contrast the choices,” you can write about other choices. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and longer. Make sure that you do not digress.

5) take up counter-arguments if necessary: While you are writing, sometimes a counter-argument, “Well, but what about this case?” comes up to your mind. Then it is better not to ignore it but take it up and give a counter-counter-argument or two. By doing so, you can confirm your argument. If you can do it well, you will get a high score.

 

The key to remember is to try to put what you want to say into words as accurately as you can. Then you cannot help adding some more words and sentences, and some more... In the end, your essay will have many words.