TOEFL iBT Independent Writing, Judging a person by external appearances

Writing Topic

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. One should never judge a person by external appearances.

☆Let’s think

What do people mean by “external appearances”? Probably they mean mainly two things: body and clothing. Body includes your hair, face, stature, skin color, expressions, and so on. Clothing can be divided into two categories: clothing that shows your position in society or social status like uniforms or very expensive suit and clothing that shows your personality, taste, cultural back ground and so on.

Tragedies like a police man who shot a black man who was about to take out a wallet from his pocket –It’s a true story! Watch Michael Moor’s documentary– can be a case in point. The policeman probably judged the man by his skin color and what he was wearing and mistook him for a bad person and thought the wallet was a gun. In some countries, Muslim women wearing a scarf to cover their hair following their faith are discriminated against because people have bad images about the people who observe that peaceful religion. Young and attractive women are often supposed to be easy to approach and are harassed just by rejecting courtship in a polite way.

In everyday life, you often experience that someone turns out to be totally different from the impression you had when you first saw the person. We see many popular TV personalities who are as huge as sumo wrestlers in spite of some discrimination against heavy people. A neat businessman in expensive suit might be a thief –look at some Wall Street businessmen– and a gloomy-looking person may actually be a friendly person who is always just tired.

On the other hand, it is also true that you can tell what the person is like to some degree by his or her appearance. Clothing and facial expressions, especially eyes, tell a lot about one’s personality and feelings. People in bright colors tend to be happy and outgoing. A person who is dressed sloppily is very likely to be lazy and lacks sense of sanitation.

Now the expression “should never” in this writing topic. Although we often hear it said that you can never say never, this “never” follows “should”. As we have seen, we can sometimes judge a person by the appearance, but shouldn’t we do it sometimes? When your mother says, “You should never judge a person by external appearance,” she is talking about dos and don’ts. She does not deny the fact that there are people who are exactly what they look. She means that appearances are only one of the factors by which you can tell who the person is.

☆Making the framework of the full essay

The basic English essay structure is as follows:

【Introduction = Outline】

【Reason 1】

【Reason 2】

【Reason 3 / Counterargument & Counter-counterargument】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

Note: A counterargument is an expected rebuttal. Taking up a counterargument when necessary is important to get a higher score. You do not really have to deal with the counterargument in the third paragraph of the body as in the structure sample above. You can deal with a counterargument in an appropriate part of a paragraph. Also, you can use a whole paragraph to deal with it.

Now let’s make the framework of your full essay. You do not have to write in full sentences. Writing down key words and expressions is fine. You can use them as the main ideas and examples for your full essay.

Sample framework notes

【Introduction = Outline】I agree with the opinion that one should never judge a person by external appearances because doing so is forming a bias.

【Point 1】Sometimes you can tell the person by the looks, but other times you cannot.

【Point 2】It is ethically wrong to have prejudices. If you want others to be open-minded to you, you should do the same to others.

【Point 3】Also, if your judgment is wrong, it may disturb communication and harm the person and your relationships.

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】 Judging someone by the appearances should be avoided under any circumstances because it is a wrong thing to do and potentially dangerous.

Your framework notes

【Main Idea = Outline】

I would like to invent a machine that can　…

because …

【Point 1】

【Point 2】

【Point 3】

【Conclusion = Wrap-up】

☆To increase the volume of your essay, find the shortest paragraph and …

1) describe/develop the main idea well: If a paragraph has only one or two sentences, chances are that you have not described/developed well enough. Make sure that each paragraph has its main idea, supporting details (examples), conclusion, and additional supporting details like counter-argument treatment if necessary.

2) describe/develop each sentence well: A statement usually has some exception or needs some condition or concession. Look for a sentence that you can add a reason, condition, concession, or any other additional information, and add “except …”, “as long as …”, “although …”, as well as “because …”

3) describe words well: Which of the following sentences gives a clear picture of someone’s pet?    A) I have a pet.   B) I have a cute cat.   C) I have a little fluffy kitten. With two adjectives and a specific noun, Sentence C) depicts an adorable pet well and it happens to be the longest of the three. Also, use transitions such as First, Also, Moreover, Therefore when necessary.

4) discuss other choices: Even if the Writing Topic does not say, “Discuss the two views” or “Compare and contrast the choices,” you can write about other choices. Doing so will make your essay more convincing and longer. Make sure that you do not digress.

5) take up counter-arguments if necessary: While you are writing, sometimes a counter-argument, “Well, but what about this case?” comes up to your mind. Then it is better not to ignore it but take it up and give a counter-counter-argument or two. By doing so, you can confirm your argument. If you can do it well, you will get a high score.

The key to remember is to try to put what you want to say into words as accurately as you can. Then you cannot help adding some more words and sentences, and some more... In the end, your essay will have many words.